I could try to be a professional musician, I could practice on my instrument, I could listen to other musicians, I could try out for various musical groups to secure a position. Somewhere right now exists a person that has put in the least amount of effort and got out the maximum return. You never know how that person got to where they are know. Otherwise, judgement of good and bad are bound to be made arbitrarily by those who do not know the world, leaving your good quotes with too much possibility to be misused by others. Need for power and affective response to negative audience reaction to an extemporaneous speech. Aug. 17, 2015 For the past several years, I've greeted Ta-Nehisi Coates's essays and blog posts for The Atlantic with nothing short of gratitude. It's quite simple for me to do it. You ask a very important question but I don't think there is any correct answer to it. 1. Does that mean I'm already "enlightened"? That would suck for me. What you're missing is the fact that only an enlightened being knows how to make others be enlightened and only an enlightened being can give a teaching which can be practiced in order to obtain enlightenment. Let's say you want to learn how to fix cars how can you learn such a thing? Should I pay more for electricity? Be thankful for what you already have. Instead, you have a nagging sense that your actions arent just right. Rather than finish a task, people with OCD get stuck looking for a perfect solution. available - Snatch up one of these free life coaching sessions and GET UNSTUCK! I'm sorry to say that I can't verify whether Lao-tzu actually said or meant that. Activity in the right frontal lobe is higher when people experience negative emotions or feel anxious. In life you've probably been through a couple of "selection procedures" (for lack of a better term) that redefine this average for you personally. Everyone presents an idealized version of themselves to the world and even, to a lesser extent, their friends and loved ones. Why asking for help is so hard and how to get better at it - CNBC Answer No sane parent has ever said, "I wish my children would misbehave," and there's never been a self-help book entitled How to Live an Unhappy Life. Most people can derive immense satisfaction by engaging in a hobby or other pursuit that involves using their hands. This exercise in paying attention to your inner dialogue may also lead to creating a list of your strengths and posting them somewhere you can see them daily. You can reach out to them and let them know you're on a mission to surrender and give up control. * You colleagues may not have had it easy. If not, have you ever tried to make photocopies of a photocopy? Its just that you havent yet found the right answer. That there is no particular meaning to life. For instance, people with low self-esteem might be more prone to stress, loneliness, depression, and anxiety disorders. OP, you have something a lot of people don't. So, the specific argument you make here is unconvincing. can you find any good from your situation?, have you built any positve characteristics from a life of adversity?. Successful people often learn to reframe their failed attempts asstepping stones to successor areas for growth. While there are many different types of disordered eating conditions, people with eating disorders that limit food intake may have trouble maintaining a healthy weight. I was born christian and 10+ years ago lost my faith and became a "non believer". Very early in life, the average is low. But if you constantly struggle to finish tasks, there may be a bigger problem at play. If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. - Something that fits quite well with the previous point, is how high you've set your personal standard. If good old-fashioned procrastination is your issue, break big projects into smaller ones you can do more easily. To what heights are you willing to challenge yourself? These self-pity parties are generally counterproductive. Struggle helps keep you grounded, especially if you see struggle as a learning opportunity. But they're comfortable with a Buddha's statue within their temple because a dead Buddha doesn't speak, and cannot make any critique of their behavior. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Think hard: What are you most passionate about in life? We use cookies to ensure the best experience on our website. You Deserve to be Happy | What will it Take? And I think we might agree on the substance more than is apparent through the disagreement on the particular expression. If you think youre stuck because of a more serious health problem, talk to your doctor to make sure you get the right diagnosis and treatment. For all the success stories you hear in social media, there are countless others who give up and never try again. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. It isnt that youre destined to be unhappy for ever or that you were born to be a loser. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. It will keep you wanting to become better at whatever you're doing. The cognitive impact of feeling perpetually overwhelmed can range from mental slowness, forgetfulness, confusion, difficulty concentrating or thinking logically, to a racing mind or an impaired. Would you possibly be able to explain "enlightenment" to me? Some of them were killed by religious people for telling the truth about religions. Perhaps if you've got quite a strong will, it will take up to a year. As a consequence of these qualities of what I've said, no proof will be found to contradict my claims, and yet my claims, to my knowledge, should be quite easily theoretically "falsifiable". I have all the things you're striving for and it feels like my colleagues, friends do much more than me much more easily. and our However, even if I tell you the truth or teachings about enlightenment right here, can you understand them? News release, Stanford University School of Medicine. So what reason do religions have to exist? I do not disagree with the claim that no religion can communicate what enlightenment essentially is. I'm doubting any such thing is possible, or at least, not in our modern world anymore. (And you might argue that person in Africa will have a much harder time not starving than an average male white American getting a house with a family and a dog, but that's besides the point). Everything flows from there. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Some people choose a very hands on education (woodworking, mechanic, etc.) I have seen many extremely successful people with easy lives crumble when confronted with failure / hardship. If you find that you get bored easily, you might be a perpetual thrill seeker who constantly needs novelty. 6. They use a scientific approach to help you deal with problems of depression or social anxiety, and they can also act as a coach to keep you motivated as you overcome these issues. Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours. Up until this academic year, higher education cost about 650-700 Euro per year. Difficulties can be the key stimuli for personal growth or they can be the seed of bitterness which consume our mind, emotions and will with discouragement, anger, jealousy and despair. Why We Struggle With Struggle - Forbes Do you love science, but youre trying to force yourself to learn to play piano? Different people have different coping mechanisms when it comes to feeling bored. What are you doing to successfully achieve your goals and aspirations? The Science Behind Procrastination., Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder., San Francisco State University Counseling Center, Time Management: Procrastination., Stanford University School of Medicine, The Science of Willpower.. After all, there are only so many new, exciting things we can see, do, and taste within our immediate vicinity. There are plenty of people who have a hard time finding a job they like or a partner they like. Let's take a look at some of the top ones. Walking off the plane at the airport in Frankfurt and not being sniffed by dogs and treated like enemy of the state: qualitatively better. Now I have the opportunity to achieve something in my life and share my experiences with the world with the hope that next generation is more kind to people from poor countries. Sometimes you struggle to declutter because you feel guilty getting rid of an item or feel obligated to keep it. but this is not a gratifying or helpful answer to the original poster. Good luck in all your struggles. There are no right answers to wrong questions. - Ursula Le Guin, Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers. - Tony Robbins. When we baptize in our church we have to raise our right hand, face the alter and accept the trinity. There's always someone in worse shape than you. Some people feel like they cant immerse themselves deeply into a project or pursuit. Schedule your FREE 30-minute session with Larry. Organizations and bodies of knowledge become religions when those who are not enlightened try to teach others what they do not actually know. When one is in the throes of despair, there may be a pessimistic view of reasonable options and an inability to act. People with an intellectual disability get "filtered out" and end up in special care, and the average rises. making careless mistakes. Finding it hard to concentrate. This means that however life unravels, you'll be OK, rather than hinging your sense of OK-ness on specific outcomes that may be beyond your control. Take stock of what you have going on. There is no shortage of men feeling rejection from their wives, but at least as many women feel spurned by their husbands. Finding it hard to cope with everyday things and tasks. Granted you feel poor and need to struggle through everyday life. What self-directed interests do you have that dont center around someone elses work? Interesting - can you please elaborate on those different cognitive skills? People who have it often have trouble making decisions or getting tasks done before a deadline. I find when dealing with any struggle in life be it big or small, all you need is to look at things from a different angle(much easier said than done) but once you change your mindset in how you will deal with life then maybe things don't seem as bad. As someone who also came from poverty and dealt with some of these feelings, I found it helped to consider things on a global scale. But we can't tell how truthful we really are - we don't know how precisely and how closely we are able to confirm things. If you look around it's very easy to find people who have a much harder time. But those of weaker will fall into danger much more quickly upon contact. If so, then what practice are you referring to? According to the Merriam-Websterdictionary, self-esteem is confidence and satisfaction in oneself.. Some get too distracted with other activities around them. Some of the "best" religious people I know, while having a "faith" are what I could also call atheist, in the purest sense: not just in an ideological sense, but in an active one: did they do that "all by themselves" or were they rubbing the magic rabbit foot all the way there? I am 31 and I still do not have a girl friend as I am still stereotyped by women and being brown with an accent does not help :P. I am sorry bro. Or they have enough but the amount of manual labor and effort they put in to getting said resources takes a lot. "I think we're putting the world together in a way that is going to make things . Ask for tips, share about your experience, and learn from what they've accomplished. My guess is you mean something deeper? The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. (Well, it used to be, a hundred years ago!) Imagine you were born in a different country and time than the one that you are in right now. Agreed, analytical proofs are possible without exhaustive examination. Not being a natural salesman, I found the same advice could be applied to life. It's probably not helpful to point to, eg, waste pickers in Brazil or India and say "See, you don't have it so bad". Thanks for the feedback. All the ways exist in the world. Taking, for the sake of argument, this is true (I don't think that it has been justified, however), it doesn't follow that a teaching from another source might not be useful in the course of enlightenment, only that the source couldn't know that the teaching was useful. Because they are just ordinary people, the only thing they can do is tell others their own knowledge (answers), but they cannot give others guidance on the basis of problems in the living reality. Yes, some people have it easy or it came naturally; while others worked/struggled to get there. You may also struggle with negative thoughts and self-talk if you struggle with low self-esteem. Ive created a Put Your Struggles Behind You workbook (PDF) to help you. It's also not right to deny what someone says unless you have concrete proof and how much more so when it comes to such important matters as what we are discussing? Because if you weren't then indeed life would simply be unfair, and that is not the way it's meant to be. Reading books and watching movies can be a lot of fun, but if theyre not offering you the opportunity to use your imagination and problem-solving abilities, youre soon going to end up lying there like a bored lump. I didn't believe in God or anything, I had nothing to comfort me or give me hope. It was gray. chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Is it possible to learn how to fix cars from people who /only/ like cars but do not know anything about them? The moment we have the questions, we do not need to remember or tell others to learn the answers. Stay focused. You have the capability to make the best of what you were born with. It may be the case (though you have done very little to establish it) that no religion contains "teachings from a real enlightened being", but even if one assumes that is the case, it provides little support for your claim that no religions has "helpful teachings for enlightening yourself". We all want blessings, happiness, and fulfillment, and we associate a happy condition with a certain amount of ease. Apply for a FREE 1 hour COACHING DISCOVERY SESSION. Start with a couple of goals for the year. What I know is that within you lie the answers key to changing your life for the better. There's an important reason why the true teachers in human history did not want to start any religions. But keep it realistic, that will prevent you from becoming hopeless about never reaching a certain standard. Why should I do what all those lunatics are telling me, and all these new "green" laws are forcing down my throat, when it's all just a 100% waste of time? 6] Controversial Category - Cosmic or Supernatural forces, ranging from notions of karma to spirits of the world, to ancestral spirits or monotheistic belief systems. * Changing jobs always takes time. If you have a roof over your head, 3 meals a day and a family, You are already doing better that 60-70% people in the world. They got medication and it made a world of difference. There are many ways to increase your happiness in life, but one of the most simple and tangible ones is by letting go of control. Same goes for conservation (aka: the "fun police"), road rules (would it be more, or less, safe on the roads, if all rules were abolished? Why keeping the Colorado River healthy is a constant struggle Why do we have to struggle for everything? : r/AskReddit It might have been flagged, but what makes you think it has?). This is one of my favorite songs, listen to it when you are down: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2Wx230gYJw. extremely lucky. Where is the real problem? You're right about equations---but you're far from convincing me that no religion in existence could be helpful to the OP. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. I asked him to recommend books to help me "convert back", help me believe. J Pers Soc Psychol. And I just want to let you know it will all be okay. ET. It's a question of recognizing what way has the result you want and then you need the willpower to correctly practice the correct way. A million things matter in these sort of things, unfortunately luck is one of them. Why Do I Wake Up Right Before My Alarm? - The New York Times I fought tooth and nail for 23 years - then got diagnosed with ADHD with a focus on executive dysfunction. If you're out of shape try to get in shape. I'm not here to tell you whether or not your standard is too high or too low, you have to decide that for yourself. As a result, some people with low self-esteem may struggle with substance use disorders. Are You Tired? Submissions without URLs are automatically penalised. I've had difficult time all throughout my education career, Ive had to bust my ass while others sail through everything, but this really has taught me a lot. It's not what people associate with ADHD, but the general opinion only covers like two out of ten symptoms. If your self-esteem is low, you might consciously or unconsciously avoid taking responsibility for your actions or may partake in reassurance-seeking behaviors to avoid anxiety in social situations. You simply cant carry on the same way and expect different results. 5. This person is again going to have a much harder time achieving their standard, compared to someone living in a poor village in Africa, just wanting to not be starving. This can also happen with adults who feel trapped in the monotonous cycle of housework and child rearing. Heres that link again if youd like to learn more about the service BetterHelp.com provide and the process of getting started. A bad first roommate, a bad first relationship, job etc. Written by Stephanie Booth Medically Reviewed by Carol DerSarkissian, MD on July 26, 2021 Are You Stressed?
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